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- Saying Adios
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Top of Mind
Zelarayán Gone
They came for American professional golf and made a pass at Messi, but this latest Saudi coup hits close to home.
Lucas Zelarayán, one of the Crew’s all-time greats, has been transferred to Al Fateh of the Saudi Pro League.
If you haven’t been following the confluence of athletics and geopolitics, you just need to know the term “sportswashing.”
Hitler did it.
Putin did it.
And Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has spent more than $6.3 billion over just the past few years to attract major sporting events and top-tier players to kick some dirt over the killing and dismembering of a journalist (among many other misdeeds).
It’s unclear what Al Fateh paid for Zelarayán, but it’s safe to say it’s somewhere between his current salary and the $1 billion a Saudi club offered to pay French star Kylian Mbappé.
Let’s just hope Ryan Day and the boys are safe from Saudi money…
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Scarlet Letter Trivia
Question: How many goals did Lucas Zelarayán score in Columbus?
A. 0
B. 14
C. 38
D. 1,721
In the News
Blood Sport
The Hell is Real rivalry is heating up off the pitch too.
Fans of the Crew and FC Cincinnati will compete to see who can donate the most blood through Red Cross blood drives in August. A new trophy will be unveiled prior to next month’s match and will spend the next year with the winning fanbase.
Maybe if we ship the Saudi government all our blood we can get Zelarayán back…
Big Money
In its first major investment in the region, Global banking giant Wells Fargo is setting up a technology hub in Columbus with plans to create 585 jobs with an average wage of $60.10 per hour. A location hasn’t been disclosed, but the bank said it will begin hiring IT and software development roles immediately.
Knowing Wells Fargo’s history of PES (Performance Enhancing Statistics), we hope these are 585 actual jobs and not fake ones meant to boost performance metrics.
Forbes Props
Forbes has ranked Columbus as the 4th-best place to live for young professionals.
Pretty impressive, but… trailing Des Moines, Oklahoma City, and Omaha?
It’s a mathematical analysis, and renting or buying a home in Columbus is pricier than in each of those cities. But c’mon…
Street Meat
Homicides are trending up in Columbus after a calmer 2022.
If we thought 2021’s record-setting year was fueled by pandemic lockdowns, we may have to reevaluate.
Well, at least the Short North got its act together, so maybe it’s time for a citywide street meat ban that the city so smartly deployed in May 🤔
Let’s Ride
Pelotonia is back for a 15th year.
So if you’re behind the wheel this weekend and you see a pack of thousands of bikers, just don’t act like a Midwestern driver.
This year’s hot newness is “Gravel Day” in Athens, although it’s not until Sept. 30. The ride will feature more challenging terrain and up to 4,700 feet of elevation change.
Quotable
I hope the bus companies come to the realization that it is not in their best interests to continue to operate, but if they don’t, the City intends to use every available tool to shut them down.
Trivia Answer
C. Lucas Zelarayán wrapped up his time in Columbus with 38 goals.
Hopefully, he collected enough money to avoid taking the Greyhound bus out of Columbus…
Signing Off
Whether you’re riding in Pelotonia, heading to the Irish Festival, or enjoying the last weekend of the state fair, enjoy this last bit of summer 😎
