Powers Out, Taxes, Budgets, Robo Cops

Top of Mind

Sorry, We’re Late. It Was My Birthday

Look, this newsletter is free, and I only turn [REDACTED] once a year. But while we were celebrating with cake and existential dread, the East Side was losing power.

Last night, nearly 3,000 AEP customers between Hamilton and Noe-Bixby lost electricity. Crews found the culprit: a mystery piece of equipment doing its best impression of a paperweight. AEP promised to fix it by 9:30 p.m., and to their credit, they shaved that number down to about 1,500 outages by late evening. So, if your lights were flickering while your AC gasped for life, you weren’t alone.

AEP assured everyone that they “appreciate your patience” and that they’re working “as quickly as they safely can.” Which is a very polite way of saying, 'Please stop calling.'

If you’re still in the dark, you can register for updates at AEPOhio.com/Alerts. Or, if you're on East Main, just look outside; if your neighbor’s porch light is on and yours isn’t, it’s going to be a long night.

Scarlet Letter Trivia

Question: How many power outages does each Columbus citizen deal with on average each year?
A. 2.4
B. 1.6
C. .08
D. 1.7

Ohio’s Tax-Free Holiday Is Now a Two-Week Shopping Bender

Ohio has done something rare: made a government policy that actually helps regular people. Starting August 1 and running through August 14, nearly everything under $500 is tax-free. That means clothes, books, laptops, home goods, plants, sports gear, and even your sad back-to-school coffee run are all spared from Ohio’s 5.75% sales tax (plus local taxes too).

That includes online orders, yes, Amazon counts, so long as your cart doesn’t go over the limit. No, your vape pen and fifth of Tito’s still aren’t covered. And no, you can’t buy a boat tax-free, unless your boat costs less than a pair of Nikes.

The policy, designed to make back-to-school shopping a little less brutal, is a win for families, college students, teachers, and anyone looking to stock up on normal-person things like towels, AirPods, or a new rice cooker. And for those with five kids and a short memory, there's finally time for two (or three) Target runs.

The average family is expected to spend hundreds, up to $500 per child, according to one OSU economist, so while this won’t change anyone’s life, it’s a solid chance to save some cash in the name of fiscal patriotism.

Two weeks. Five hundred bucks. No tax. Don’t screw it up.

Columbus Drops a Casual $2.9 Billion on Itself

Columbus City Council just approved the largest capital improvement budget in city history, a $2.9 billion binge on roads, housing, water plants, youth centers, and more. The budget, which Mayor Ginther called essential to keeping residents “safe, healthy, and housed,” includes:

• $1 billion for a fourth water plant (the first three are tired)
  

• $50 million for affordable housing (which will hopefully stay affordable)
  

• $14 million for an Easton police substation (yes, Easton is getting more police)
  

• $28 million for replacing fire trucks (because apparently we were fresh out)
  

Among the headliners: $9 million is going toward a “participatory budgeting” pilot next year, where you get to help decide which neighborhood projects get funded. It’s democracy, but messy. Like a citywide group project where nobody wants to be in charge of the spreadsheet.

The spending plan also includes smaller wins, like $1 million for Star House’s Milo-Grogan Youth Center and $450,000 for fixing up Freedom and Joan Parks. Other major projects include overdue upgrades to the city’s creaky police and fire stations, some of which are over 50 years old and currently held together with duct tape and crossed fingers.

Not everything made the cut. Fire facility renovations are down $16 million from last year, and communication system upgrades for police and fire departments plummeted from $3 million to under $700,000. But don’t worry, officials say last year’s spending spree on tech should hold us over.

And if all this sounds like a pre-election warm-up, it is: Mayor Ginther is already pitching a $2 billion bond issue on the November ballot, including $250 million earmarked for more safety, health, and infrastructure work. So yeah, it’s been a big year for city planners, and an even bigger year for whoever’s designing all these construction detours.

Dublin PD Hires a Robot. No, Seriously.

Dublin, Ohio: where the golf is good, the houses are beige, and now, the cops are partially robotic.

Meet DubBot, the newest “officer” on the beat. For just $238,440, the Dublin Police Department has invested in a two-year pilot program featuring this roving, LED-blinking snitch on wheels. DubBot currently patrols the Rock Cress parking garage with 360-degree cameras, LIDAR scanners, and enough flashing lights to make you think EDM night came early.

But don’t worry, it’s not here to replace your job. Just your privacy.

DubBot records everything, all the time, and flags “unusual activity” like groups of five or more people existing in public. In that case, the robot either broadcasts a polite robotic warning to go “enjoy the environment” somewhere else, or escalates things to a human officer. (Because nothing says community policing like a robot tattling on teenagers for loitering.)

Need help? DubBot doubles as a giant walkie-talkie. Press a button, and you’re live with dispatch. Think of it like FaceTiming your neighborhood cop, but with worse resolution and no body language.

This fall, DubBot gets a friend: Bridge Walker, another robot assigned to patrol the Dublin Link Bridge and Riverside Crossing Park. Because if there’s one place where you really need robotic surveillance, it’s near a playground.

So while Columbus wrestles with potholes and ransomware, Dublin’s dropping nearly a quarter-million dollars on droids to monitor garages. And somehow, that feels extremely on brand.

Welcome to the future, Central Ohio. It’s got four wheels, a strobe light, and it’s watching your every move.

Trivia Answer

B. 1.16 per citizen! There are roughly 913,175 citizens in Columbus. 1.16 multiplied by 913,175 equals 1059283; that’s a lot of power outages!